T.S. Eliot said, “April is the cruelest month”, and that’s so true in Colorado. One day it’s 60 degrees, the flowers are trying to wake up, and branches are full of green buds ready to embrace the warmth of the sun.
The next day, blam! 6 inches of snow and a hard freeze! Hahaha, fuck you, says Mother Nature. Seriously. This happened twice last April. All my peaches died. All the flower buds, the leaves, every fucking tulip, and my soul died last April.
Then there’s the hail storm that hit on May 8, 2017. This was not your average pea-sized hail storm that maybe takes out a few leaves.
No, this was the fucking Olympics of hail storms. Parts of metro Denver were hit with golf-ball and baseball-sized hail.
This hailstorm was so epically destructive that it closed a mall for 6 months and caused $1.4 billion (yeah, with a B) in damages.
My house escaped destruction in that storm. My car, not so much. It looks like I drive a blue Subaru Golfball Impreza now.
Just yesterday, parts of the state were hit by another hailstorm that was pea-sized hail. But 6 freakin’ inches of it! The city had to bring in snowplows to clear the streets there was so much hail.
In July 2009, our neighborhood was hit with a hailstorm that caused over $14,000 in damage to our house alone. We had broken windows, damaged siding and the roof was severely damaged.
Fortunately, I wasn’t gardening that year! The only year I have not gardened. This storm hit in late July and ruined everything that was alive in my yard. The garden would not have been spared.
This year, I’m using wall o waters in my garden. They keep the soil warm and act as a mini-greenhouse for individual plants. Because I’m using them it surely means we’ll get an epic hail storm.
It’s kind of like washing your car and having it rain two hours later.
April may be the cruelest month, but May, June, and July can all be bitches too.